So here it is. I have horrible anxiety. I had it since I can remember. Some points of my life it has been unbearable and sometimes it seems to almost dissipate as if I don’t have it anymore. It is always a reminder if I am truly using my coping skills or not. Stupid coping skills… smdarnh… Sucks that we got to learn them and stinks even more that we actually got to put forth the effort and use them.
It was so much easier when I was a kid and could just self medicate all my problems away. I looovvveee me some Southern. Problem is that my little self will drink about 1/5 of Southern Comfort with about an inch left in the bottle in one night. I know this about myself so I just don’t drink whiskey. I want to wear the cute shirts that say “Sunshine and Whiskey.” As my 3 year old would say “Not fair.” I know it’s the beginning of a whole new set of problems if I sip sip. Why do it to myself? Know you. Know your triggers. The trick to this is that there is no trick. You just got to be honest with yourself. What is going to mess up your day that you yourself can prevent? Think about it, take heed, and then take an action.
I also have been prescribed benzos off and on my adult life to deal with panic attacks. I am blessed to have OCD and it is oh so fun. Ummm… not says this girl. Benzos are my friend in these moments but in my opinion the devil himself. You feel great when they are in the system and then the rebound effects slips up on ya. Benzos are great for short term crisis situations but are not meant to be used for the long haul. This is what we all want though right? The magic pill to just have all of our troubles disappear.
This is where I’m at. So now you know. This is part of my testimony. This is why I do well working within mental health. I get it. I live it. I work through it everyday. I have learned those skills to help me through every day. Some days are better than others. Some days I really want the quick fix. But when I work through it by myself it feels oh so good. My self-esteem explodes because I stinking did it! This is a powerhouse of feel good emotion each time I breathe through the anxiety.
If you too struggle with the anxiety, I will leave you with this for the day. Breathe 4-7-8. Inhale for 4. Hold for 7. Exhale as if you are blowing through a straw for 8. Use it when you’re pissed, anxious, having cravings, or having trouble going to sleep. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it. At least try it before you say “hogwash” ;).
With love and gratitude,